Tell social anxiety to fuck off 

The first day of high school wasn’t pleasant for me, I was a anxious mess I didn’t know what to do. I had to make new friends, fit in to a group, try convince myself I wasn’t a total loser. All the other kids are going to parties, but can you imagine yourself at a party.. around the opposite sex, the cool kids. My Saturday nights were spent in my bedroom listening to good charlotte and blink 182, I was extra emo. I would of had an anxiety attack for sure if I actually went to a live concert or party. You know it didn’t take me long to figure out how to fit in though, make a few friends and actually be the kid throwing a few parties. I’m 26 years old now and am still a bit of a loner, outcast type but I do not suffer from social anxiety at all, in fact I’m the opposite. Im very confident, friendly and even do public speaking from time to time. Trust me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a loner or not fitting in. These are my favourite types of people, they’re a little bit damaged but they’re interesting because they’ve been through some shit. These are the type of people I’d rather spend my time with. The problem is social anxiety can be a speed bump in your road to happiness, it could stop you from getting the job you’ve always wanted or hinder you from asking out the girl next door for coffee. Dealing with your social anxiety can define you, it can help build your charisma and become a stronger human being. There is a difference between not wanting to be in a social situation and being anxious in a social situation, I want you to be able to have the power to choose where you want to be and how you feel when you get there. How do we deal with social anxiety? How do we meet our own demons in the Frey?. We embrace them with open arms. To deal with your problems you need to recognise them and own them. So the first step is just being yourself and learning to be happy with yourself. If you can concede to your own issues you will be able to become yourself and then no one, including yourself can use them to hurt you. The next thing I want you to do is think about all the things you like about yourself, this will help you gain confidence in yourself again. For instance I know that I’m smart and creative, I think to myself well I have these two great traits and how do I use them to my own advantage. I know Im Not super good looking or the funniest guy but that’s ok because I’m embracing the good things about me and using them to benefit myself and others. And then i think about the bits about me that I’d like to be better at. This is important because having a self progressive goal is the key to gain confidence. The actual act of having a goal is enough to keep you motivated and fierce, start with something small. Perhaps attend a social gathering in your neighbourhood or join upto a gym and then when you start achieving little goals you should start aiming for the stars. If you start of with little goals it keeps you progressing which will fuel your fight for personal and social growth. Other things to think about is your sub conscious , a lot of the time people with social anxiety tend to over think a lot and one of the effects of this is that you think the people can visually see your anxiety and it’s crippling. If you don’t think of yourself looking like a social outcast your not going to look like one, if these thoughts happen to you just practice breathing slowly until you feel more relaxed or think of someone you admire that is a confident social butterfly then imagine that your that person, own it and you will become it… fake it till you make it. Another technique I learned while studying is psychology is rating your fears from 1 to 10. For example: eating out in public – 1 or going on a date – 10. Then actually go and do these things and rate them on how much fear they struck you with. The usual result of that is that the number scored after actually doing the thing you were scared of is lower and this comes back to overthinking everything. Generally the hurdle is a lot lower than anticipated. Another thing I want you to do is reward yourself for accomplishing your set goals, you’ve totally earned it and the only person that got you through to the end was you. Why do people have social anxiety ?. There is no scientific evidence that social anxiety I passed on through genes and I am quite sure environment has the most sway over your social anxiety disorder so make sure your surrounding yourself in a supportive environment. Bad experiences, health conditions and work demands can help towards developing the disorder so it’s important to stay healthy and avoid stress to help evade anxiety issues. If you work on these steps and goals you will hopefully come out the other side a more confident and content person with new powers to play with. So keep healthy, set the goals and chase them tenaciously, and concentrate on your own self development. Also think about doing yoga or meditation if you want a stronger mind to help, I do yoga regularly and find it very effective with staying focused and strong willed. I hope at least one person has found some inspiration out of this article.Du bist wunderschoen. 😘 

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